The Weather Update
GI was asked last week by KFK where the sunshine had went, I put a crack team of Incognito investigators on the case, but the came up with nothing, and as the sun makes spordic appearances, they gave up, but they did compile a comprehensive report stating how us folk in Scotland can handle the cold.
40 degrees - Californians shiver uncontrollably. People in Scotland sunbathe.
35 degrees - Italian cars won’t start. People in Scotland drive with the windows down.
20 degrees - Floridians wear coats, gloves, and wool hats. People in Scotland throw on a T-shirt.
15 degrees - Californians begin to evacuate the state. People in Scotland go swimming in the sea.
0 degrees - New York landlords turn the heat on. People in Scotland have a last barby before it gets cold.
-10 degrees - People in Miami are extinct. People in Scotland lick flagpoles.
-20 degrees - Californians all now live in Mexico. People in Scotland throw on a light jacket.
-80 degrees - Polar bears begin to evacuate the Artic. Scottish Boy Scouts postpone winter survival excercise until it gets cold enough.
-100 degrees - Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. People in Scotland wear a vest and pull down their ear flaps.
-173 degrees - Ethyl alcohol freezes. People in Scotland are angry ‘cos they can’t thaw their whisky kegs.
-297 degrees - Microbial life starts to grind to a halt. Scottish cows complain of farmers with cold hands.
-460 degrees - ALL atomic motion stops. People in Scotland start saying ” A bit hill billy … eh? “
-500 degrees - Hell freezes over. Scottish people support England in the World Cup
GI 