1. What do you call a ned in a box?

Innit.

2. What do you call a ned in a filing cabinet?

Sorted .

3. What do you call a ned in a box with a lock on it?

Safe.

4. Why are neds like slinkies?

They have no real use but it’s great to watch one fall down a flight of stairs.

5. What do you call an Eskimo ned?

Innuinnit.

6. What do you call a nedette in a white tracksuit?

The bride.

7. You’re in your car and you see a ned on a bike, why should you try not to hit him?

It might be your bike.

9. What’s the first question at a ned quiz night?

“Whit you lookin’ it?”

10. How do you get 100 neds into a phone box?

Paint three stripes on it.

11. Two neds in a car without any music. Who’s driving?

The police

12. What do you call a ned with 9 GCSE’s?

A liar.

13. What do you say to a ned with a job?

“Can I have a big mac please?”

14. What do you say to a ned in a suit?

“Will the defendant please stand”

15. Why is 3 neds going over a cliff in a Nova a shame?

A Nova seats 4

16. How many neds does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, they’ll screw anything.

17. What do you call a ned at college?

The janitor .

18. Two neds jump off beachy head, who wins?

Society.

Thanks to Phil for sending me these jokes, I fell about the floor laughing when I read them!!!!
if you are English and reading this site, please just replace the word ‘ned’ or ‘neds’ with ‘chav’ or ‘chavs’

To learn more about neds, click here.

G.I